Dear Reader,
It is astounding how nature and objects teach us life lessons. Let's take a look at the geode.
Do you know what a geode is? Geodes are spherical rocks that contain hollow cavities lined with crystals. The exterior is neutral-colored, unattractive, and rugged - but once you crack the geode open, you'll see the shimmer of glistening quartz crystals. Let's learn from this beautiful geode.
Have you met someone who is a difficult person? Perhaps the person is a coworker, family member, friend, and/or acquaintance who makes you feel agitated, frustrated, discouraged, angry, and/or annoyed.
Have you had stones thrown at you?
Have you ever felt invisible when you surround yourself with difficult people?
I am sure that you are raising your hand in agreement - I am raising my hand right along with you! I have spent lots of time with challenging people, and I am indebted to them for entering my life. Before you disagree, let me tell you why. Let's start by calling difficult people "geodes."
Abrasive spoken and unspoken words represent the exterior layer of the geode.
The glistening quartz crystals that hide within in the interior of the geode, represent people's souls.
When geodes from my past have rubbed me in the wrong way, I would immediately react and respond negatively. I would spend countless nights replaying the scenario, trying to reason and find the "why." At the age of 38, I finally learned the secret behind living and communicating effectively with the geodes in my life.
Reader, please allow me to share one of my most useful tools. When people treat you negatively or react badly because they are hurting, they feel the need to lash out at innocent people. What should you do? This is what I do. I look the person in the eye and gently ask them, "Would you like to have lunch or coffee?", because it is imperative to strive to hear their side story. Having a heart to heart conversation is a powerful tool. You may be able to learn more about them.
People hurt people because:
They’ve had a painful past.
They’ve learned to hide their pain by being unkind to people.
They do not have a trustworthy person in their lives that they can trust.
They’ve lost themselves.
They don't know how to effectively express their sentiments and thoughts.
They have been wronged, oppressed, or exploited by certain people.
Their trust has been destroyed.
Our job is to empower one another with kindness. We should practice becoming tenderhearted and exercising forgiveness. Our words will serve as encouragement to the "geodes." Let everything we say be valuable and meaningful because our words just may crack their shell to reveal their authentic, shining interior.
FACT: Each one of us have glimmering crystals lodged inside of us. Each one of us has a beautiful soul.
Let's take a look at an alternative viewpoint.
What if we are difficult to other people?
What if people labeled us a difficult person?
How do you want them to treat you?
How do you want to be spoken to?
I can be a difficult person because of my boldness and straightforwardness. I am also introverted and impatient. I learned over the years to listen, surrender my control and look at the “story” with different lenses, which dramatically changed me.
Now, if the "geode" does not want to have a conversation or connect with you, then try these strategies:
Concede and make peace
Forgive them and the situation
Wish them well
Walk away
You did your part. Forgiveness is for you to heal and let go. Forgiveness does not mean you want to be friends and invite the person back into your life. There is a quote by Real Talk Kim that I love and live by, "I want to see you eat, but not at my table." Do not "stalk" them to see how and what they are doing and do not talk bad about the person to others. Wish them well in their life and future and by doing this, you'll gain peace and freedom.
Now, Reader, do you want to experience true peace and freedom when interacting with people? If yes, then throw away your existing "glasses." Use different glasses and look at the person differently, holistically, and empathetically. Try one "geode" at a time. By trying this approach, you'll grow in wisdom and maturity.
With love and compassion,
Ana
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