Hello friend!
Participating in therapy sessions amidst the breathtaking beauty of nature has been an absolutely transformative experience for me! There is something truly tranquil and therapeutic about being surrounded by the crisp, fresh air, the awe-inspiring natural scenery, and the thriving wildlife all around me.
This idyllic setting has truly allowed me to tap into a deep sense of inner peace and groundedness that I have never experienced before. Moreover, it has also given me the courage and inspiration to truly embrace my authentic self, and to remain open and receptive to all the novel insights that Natural Wisdom Counseling therapy sessions offer.
The recent group therapy session at Natural Wisdom Counseling was a very enlightening experience. During the session, I gained a deeper understanding of how my communication skills impact my relationships with others. As mentioned in my previous blog post, my unwavering commitment towards improving my communication skills remains steadfast.
Natural Wisdom Counseling team displayed an unwavering commitment to their participants and their vast knowledge base truly shone through. I cannot express enough gratitude for the dedication shown by the team.
I learned from the most recent session the importance of paying attention to nonverbal cues and emotions in communication. It was eye-opening to realize that effective communication is not just about what we say, feel, and think, but also how we observe and interpret the nonverbal cues that are being conveyed.
It's important to remember, my friend, so I'll say it again.
“It's important to observe nonverbal communication and emotional cues, rather than solely relying on our thoughts and feelings, as observation holds more power than we realize.”
Here are some examples to better illustrate my point.
We were given the task of observing a group of horses and sharing our findings. As it came to my turn to speak, I found it quite challenging to accurately describe what I had observed. I had formed numerous judgments, opinions, and assumptions that were easy to express, but not necessarily helpful or accurate. Eventually, with some trepidation, I stated, "I see four horses eating, but I hold an opinion about it."
The group leader kindly asked me to elaborate on my thoughts, encouraging me to explain what I was thinking. I took a deep breath and responded, "I see four horses eating because they are hungry!" As soon as I said this, I realized the difference between an observation and an assumption.
By simply stating "I see four horses eating."--- I made a neutral observation without any power dynamic. However, when I added "because they are hungry," I introduced an assumption that could be incorrect. What if the horses were not actually hungry? They could be eating for a different reason or trying to prevent an upset stomach.
By simply stating what I observed, I removed any power dynamic or potential for inaccuracy. It was not until I added "because they are hungry" that I introduced an assumption that could potentially lead to misleading information. This experience taught me the importance of sticking to neutral observations when sharing information.
I have another example to share with you.
In my observation, I saw a magnificent gorgeous black horse running and galloping freely as soon as the gate opened. It was the first horse to run out.
My assumption and internal judgment were that the magnificent gorgeous black horse displayed a commanding presence and, therefore, must be the leader of the herd.
Guess what? This may not be the case. The leader clarified that the black horse that was strikingly visible was both the youngest and largest among the herd. She was only 3 years old. So, her behavior was actually a reflection of her age and NOT her leadership.
So, friend, I was entirely wrong. The leader's clarification left me utterly surprised and at a loss for words, with my mouth wide open.
I would like to share an example that I found noteworthy that the leader shared at the end of the session.
Imagine a situation where a child is loudly stomping in a room, which might lead us to assume that they are upset about something the parent did or did not do.
However, the leader demonstrated a different and more empathetic approach.
They kindly and calmly asked the child, "I see you stomping your feet. What's up? How are you doing?"
This small but significant change in language can greatly impact our perception of situations and how we interact with others.
Friend, I am actively practicing this skill every single day. It is not easy. Honesty and transparency are values that I hold in high esteem. I must admit that I still struggle with internal judgment and assumptions.
For instance, I find myself wondering why a friend hasn't responded to my texts. Such thoughts make me question whether I am a boring conversationalist or if I did something to offend them. I tend to re-read my messages and overthink things, which is indeed a clear example of my internal judgment.
Now, I have come to the realization that simply stating the fact that "this person hasn't responded to my text yet" is an observation.
TIP: Focusing on the actual events and behaviors, rather than making assumptions or judgments, can positively impact the way we think and communicate.
Two Essential Keys to Remember:
Avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, as that can lead to unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings.
Observe the facts and communicate based on what we see or notice.
I want to share my last example with you:
One evening, I observed my husband walking around the kitchen with a sense of aimlessness and silence. His eyes were fixed on a distant object, and his face looked unchanging, which led me to think that something was bothering him.
I nervously asked him, "Have I done anything wrong?" to which he kindly responded, "No, it's not about you. I am just exhausted from a very long day at work. All I need right now is some peace and quiet."
Despite his calm demeanor, I couldn't help but notice that he kept rubbing his eyes and blinking frequently, which indicated to me that he was quite exhausted.
As I reflected on this interaction, I realized how different things could have been if I had approached him differently. Instead of assuming the worst, I could have said something like, "Baby, I can see that you seem tired and quiet because you kept rubbing your eyes. Is there anything I can do to make things better?" This approach would have allowed him to open up more easily.
This example served as a powerful reminder of the importance of observation and communication.
It is easy to get caught up in our own thoughts and forget to pay attention to what others are saying or feeling.
By not observing, we risk missing out on important emotional cues and non-verbal communication that can impact our understanding of the conversation. -- Read that again, my friend.
Therefore, dear friend, I encourage you to make a conscious effort to observe during your conversations:
1. Pay attention to the subtle indicators of body language and
emotions behind the words.
2. Try to show a genuine interest in what the other person is
saying. It may take some practice, but it will ultimately enhance your communication skills and strengthen your relationships.
Remember, a little observation can go a long way! I hope you find this lesson as compelling as I did. Communication is a skill that can always be honed, and I am cheering you on!
Love,
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