Hello friend,
I have previously imparted to you some valuable insights on the subject of self-friendship, as well as three customized categories of friendship.
It is not a simple matter to be a good friend to oneself.
The journey to be your own friend is arduous and requires constant attention. It is an ongoing process of learning how to become your own best friend.
Categorizing your social circle into specific groups is an ever-changing process. A mere acquaintance may eventually transform into a close or best friend. Conversely, a close friend may end up being categorized as an acquaintance! Categorizing your circle of friends is a lifelong process.But guess what?
This is entirely normal and it is okay.
It is all about personal growth and learning.
This blog may not be filled with flowery language and sugar-coated words. It may appear to be straightforward and direct. However, please be aware that every single word is infused with love, care, and honesty. My ultimate aim is for you to take away something valuable from every post you read.
I would like to discuss the grievous loss of a friendship and the emotional process that ensues. In my previous blog post, I shared a deeply personal story of how I lost my dearest friend whom I had known since childhood. The impact of this loss was profound, and it took me fifteen years to come to terms with it. I was still left with many unanswered questions and even attempted to reach out to her via social media, but to no avail.
The pain and sadness that I felt during that time was overwhelming.
However, this experience has taught me a valuable lesson.
It has enabled me to become a better friend not only to myself but also to others. Without experiencing the loss of this friendship, I may never have learned how to be a true friend to myself. I consider this experience as a powerful lesson that I continue to learn from every day.
To my dear friend reading this, have you ever experienced the loss of a close friend with no answers to the many questions left behind?
If you have, then please accept my warm embrace. I want you to know that you are an amazing person and you will make a wonderful friend to yourself and to others.
I would like to ask you a question - what did you learn from this friendship?
It may be difficult to answer this question, so please take your time. There is no need to rush. It might be helpful to write down your responses in a journal.
If you are feeling stuck and unable to provide an answer, consider the following:
Did you learn anything about patience?
How did this person make you feel? Were they generally negative or positive?
Did they stand by you during difficult times?
In what ways did they support you when you needed it most?
Were you able to confide in them with your deepest secrets?
Ponder these questions, my friend.
Now, it's time to focus on healing and moving forward.
The pain might feel like too much to bear, but acknowledging your pain is a significant and first step.
Take the time to identify your emotions.
Are you feeling angry or hurt? Bitter or resentful? Naming these feelings and recording them in your journal can be helpful.
Spend time doing things you enjoy. Treat yourself to a solo date. You are valuable and deserve to be appreciated.
When was the last time you indulged in your favorite meal or purchased something for yourself? This is the perfect opportunity to care for yourself during this healing process.
Lastly, speak to yourself with kindness and compassion:
"I am okay. This friend lost a great friend as well. I am sorry for any hurt or pain I may have caused, even if I am unsure of what it was. Now, I know it is time to let this go and allow life to handle the situation. I refuse to dwell in this 'problem hole' and waste my time. This is a lesson, and I am learning how to be a better friend to others. I wish this person well."Remember, you are welcome to repeat this pep talk to yourself as many times as you need. Consider it a soothing balm for your soul. You deserve kindness, so be kind to yourself.
It may take time for the wounds to heal, and you may never receive the answers you seek. I have personally waited 15 years without a resolution. However, I have accepted it and used the experience to grow and become a better friend to myself and others.
You, too, can do the same.
Love,
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