I am Deaf.
But being Deaf means more than just not being able to hear.
Historically, Deafness has been misunderstood and wrongly stigmatized. Our society associates being Deaf with negative characteristics like ignorance, anger, and a lack of communication skills. It’s my belief that by understanding and embracing Deaf culture, we can dismantle prejudices and myths.
Each Deaf person has a unique story and upbringing - I will share a little bit of mine.
For the past 30 years, I personally identified as being “hard of hearing” versus being “deaf” because I wasn't exposed to Deaf culture or the Deaf community. So for those three decades, I lived, talked, and thought like a hearing person due to my upbringing and my surroundings.
During my elementary school years, I went through speech therapy to try and speak like a hearing person, and boy, was it a struggle, pretending to understand lip-reading. It was like guesswork! Certain words posed a huge challenge for me, such as "church," "chicken," "kitchen," and "spaghetti," among others. Despite the efforts of speech therapists, my mind and voice couldn't quite synchronize. At that time, I didn't truly know who I was or how I was supposed to act. It wasn't until I turned 18 and learned sign language that everything changed.
The answer to “what does being Deaf really mean?” only became clear to me when I met my husband and began working in a Deaf-led environment. I realized that there isn't a one-size-fits-all answer, it varies based on each individual's background. Personally, it simply means "I cannot hear." For example, without my hearing aids, I am unable to perceive sounds and although I can lip-read, it is extremely exhausting for my eyes and mind.
Did you know that research shows that only 30% of spoken language is understood through lip reading? When I first learned this, I was amazed. It made me reflect on my own experiences and everything started to make sense. Lip reading required me to piece together puzzles and make educated guesses to fully understand what was being said. I remember countless nights where I felt absolutely drained without understanding why.
Let me share a story with you.
From kindergarten to my senior year of high school, I never had an interpreter. I heavily relied on lip reading and I had to wear a bulky FM system, which is a large audio box, strapped to my chest with antennas connecting to my hearing aids. It was so embarrassing to have that device with me all the time. During that period of my life, embracing my identity was a struggle - and a lot of it was due to the burden of that equipment! In retrospect, I understand why I often felt exhausted.
Lip reading all day and trying so hard to fit in took a toll on me mentally and emotionally.
Now, my friend, remember that this is my personal journey as a Deaf individual. I am immensely grateful to my parents for raising me in the hearing world; but for so long, I carried the weight of shame for being Deaf. Thankfully at 30, I had a revelation: my Deafness is a remarkable aspect of my identity.
I am Deaf and I have a Deaf accent, and now I embrace it with utmost pride.
I am empowered by my uniqueness.
Also, I am fortunate to have incredible friends who embrace me as I am. Though my circle is small, consisting of just a handful of individuals, it is precious to me because they truly understand my essence. With them, I can be myself unapologetically!
My friend, this is my story—a testament to strength and inspiration.
Let us remember that communication is the heart and soul of our existence.
When we take away someone's ability to communicate, we take away a part of their humanity.
Lip-reading may offer understanding, but it comes at a great cost. Let us strive for a world where communication is inclusive and barriers are broken.
It is time to see Deaf people as a whole and appreciate their journey.
Together, let us create a society where all Deaf individuals can thrive and be understood.
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