What Does It Mean To Be A Friend?

How would you write the definition for a friend?

During my childhood, I had several friends that I met through school. I remember that they would greet me with excited smiles when I walked into the room. This was special for me because growing up, I was the only Deaf student in the classroom. I wanted so badly to be like others - I wanted to be liked and accepted. I wanted people to feel comfortable around me, so I really tried to fit in. I did not identify as Deaf because I did not want to distinguish myself differently from others, so there were countless days that I acted like I was a hearing person or hard of hearing. As a result, I allowed my peers to label me and tell me my identity - this contributed to my lack of confidence and strong self-esteem.

Come, take a walk with me down memory lane.

I had one friend in kindergarten who was my best friend. During recess, she would learn sign language with me on the blacktop, while smiling ear to ear. At the time, I was not fluent in sign language. Well, she had an enormous sign language book that we would study and learn the alphabet and slim pickings of signs. To give you an even better idea of myself around that time, imagine me wearing the FM system. The purpose of the FM system is to amplify the sounds to lipread and ultimately understand people better. Well, the FM system is a big, brown bulky box that I would tug under my shirt. The box had two cords that connected to my hearing aids. I was mortified by it, so every day I would hide the box and long cords under my clothing while covering my hearing aids with my long, black curly hair. At the time my best friend exemplified the definition of a true friend. Unfortunately, when I gave birth to my son, this same “best friend” abruptly cut our friendship without a single reason or conversation. The pain was raw. The end of our friendship penetrated my soul with intense pain. I wept many nights and have made countless attempts to rekindle the friendship to no avail. It took me YEARS to heal and let go.

How did I let go?

I learned to let go from watching the bird. Imagine a bird entrapped in clamped hands. The bird is trying so hard to escape that during her struggle, she loses feathers in her wings. I identified with the bird. My wings were hurting from the fight and I was exhausted. Figuratively speaking, I decided to take a break from breaking free and rest. When I surrendered, I found rejuvenation. I sang. I chirped. I decided to rethink my escape strategy and use my claws to pierce the palms of my captor’s hands. I used my beak, attempting to peck and nibble at the fingers. Suddenly, the hands unlatched - FREEDOM! I looked around and chirped loudly in excitement and gratefulness. I quickly flew out of the hands but landed on the ground. Ah! More rest was needed so that my feathers would regrow on my wings and ultimately, I’d heal and fly again.

I wrote a blog about this. Go here and read to be inspired https://www.anaprice.net/post/lessons-from-a-bird .

The new feathers symbolize new

• Identity

• Relationships

• Friendships

• New page

• New chapter

Twelve years later, I genuinely believe that God was protecting me from future harm. I say this with absolute confidence because now I am experiencing the joy of having everlasting friendships. Some of these friends are from middle school, high school, and college. Some are even colleagues. Also, I learned that there are 7.9 BILLION people in the world. Why should I continue to be bitter and angry at myself about losing ONE friend? Do you know what I did instead of sulking and grumbling? I changed my thinking.

• I changed my narrative.

• I turned the page of my book and even started a NEW book with fresh pages.

• I changed the way I respond and communicate with people.

• I changed the way I convey my messages.

• I changed the way I react to unavoidable circumstances.

• I changed my “glasses.” ☺

When people cut me out of their life without an explanation, here are the lessons I have learned from the bird:

• I have learned that I change from within to be a better and stronger woman. Rise up! Soar!

• I have learned to communicate better with people around me. Chirp! Make your voice known!

• I have learned to embrace the woman that God designed me to be. Enjoy the beautiful and colorful feathers!

• I have learned not to look back because it is over. Fly forward! Keep flapping your wings!

• I have learned to only focus on what is in front of me. Do not lose your focus.

• I saved the best lesson for last. I have learned how to be a friend to MYSELF. Keep on chirping and flying.

Now, friend – be kind to yourself and write your definition of a friend in your journal. This is my definition of being a friend to myself:

I am always kind to myself. I always give myself grace by treating myself with lots of attention, compassion, and love. I speak kind words to myself. If I speak harsh words or with negativity to myself, I know that I am abusing myself. I give myself daily hugs. I take myself out on dates. I purchase flowers for myself - or anything tangible that makes me smile. I am loyal to myself. I feed my heart, mind, and soul with His Word. Whatever is in my heart, it flows through my mouth and actions. I feed myself with truth and love.

Reader -- You are a gem. You are expensive and worth more than gold. You are valuable. I say this because you are around yourself 24/7. Be like the bird. Soar, chirp and sing like the bird. Be free to be YOU!

With Love,

Ana